Permanently

Santa Fe

2009-01-22T18:34:00.000-08:00

Tourists. Expensive.
Quaint and Lovely and tourists and Native Americans. Turquoise. Expensive.
Visit the Chuck Jones gallery.
Interesting.
Listen to the buskers while watching this girl awkwardly flirt with them, toting her camera as leverage.
Eat cheerios in the parking lot.
Go back to the hostel.
Hungry, but too broke to eat, we fill up on samples at the Whole food store.

Night life... ummmm?
The Underground... rock cover band?
The lead singer looks like carrot top with long blonde hair.
He gets up and dances on the bar, and the women go crazy.
Centered in the room is a motorcycle statue made out of wicker.
Meet this awkward kid, Damien, an aspiring doctor who explains to us that he is looking for pussy tonight, and then creepily stalks the girls at this bride's wedding party rubbing against the girls trying to dance.

Big drunken fights. Owen at 2 am. Fall asleep in the car, awake to see the sunrise.

In traveling, I remember the moments I don't want to remember. Repression is a bad thing.

New Mexico and strange clouds

2009-01-22T18:23:00.000-08:00

NEW MEXICO
synthetic teepees
pathetic remnants. kevin costner.
signs that say, "Do not pick up hitch hikers, prison nearby."

Today is the day of cheerios. God damn cheerios.
not really, the real ones. the fake big bag ones. and fake chicken.
and red rock.
and Delilah.
"Your love keeps liftin' me higher"
Drive into Albuquerque, big double rainbow guides us into the city.
Meet John and Susie who live in a little pink Pueblo style home.
John: advocate of the military, advocate of skiing out of helicopters in Alaska, visiting India and Japan and Alaska, hitch hiking, consumer advocacy, as well as Patent Protecting.
Susie: Nurse, loves San Francisco, and Venice Beach, bought a whole mess of homeless people in this park sandwiches, just graduated from grad school, believes informed consent requires experience killing people and watching people be killed.
They don't have children, but love their dogs, like a heart beat.
Apparently, they bought us a hotel room. At the Sheraton.
Holy Crap.

July 10, 2008
NEW MEXICO II
Any how, the next day:
wake up late... like 8:00...
shower, which feels so damn good.
Get free wifi from Satellite Cafe, which as it turns out is pretty much the Brew Haha of Albuquerque.
Apparently the only places to get free Wifi are there and Arby's.
Yeah, Arby's.
Anyway. Find Anthropologie's address online, figuring that wherever Anthropologie was more interesting shops and boutiques would be. We were in hotel tourist land, which was a, too expensive, and b, boring. So we travel to Anthropologie, which ended up being in the strip mall next to us. BUST.
So, we ask the girl at the shop where some more art friendly places may be... Down town.
So we travel downtown. It is a bitch to travel in New Mexico by car, and Craig hates biking, so we drove. People in New Mexico are probably the worst drivers I have ever experienced. But, we made our way downtown, which ended up being a series of gift shops and feel good "board walk stores" filled with colorful bohemian wraps and colorful mexican dolls and pottery. It was what it was. There was a few nice places; a used book store called Book Stop Inc., which was filled with the most random book finds and run by the cute old men who couldn't hear very well. The location of this shop is 118 Tulane SE Albuquerque NM. I encourage a visit. Randomly glittered throughout the downtown area are vintage clothing stores as well as skater/indy shops carrying free people and knock knock. Two brands that are prevalent in this area. We briefly stopped into an art store, I think just a local one that looked a hell of a lot like Utrecht in Philly. We asked them about galleries in the area, since we were running dry of streets to explore downtown. The one girl slapped a gallery book down on the table, and told us to take it... then apathetically stared at me as the guy explained that, there really wasn't much of anything in Albuquerque. So, we decided to head out of the downtown area.

Traveled south a bit? I guess it was south... Anyway, made our way to Old town, which was filled with tourist attractions. We really didn't have anything better to do, so we played our part and poked around the little pink Pueblo shops, talked to store owners, and dodged the rain. Apparently it is monsoon season in New Mexico. Our weather luck had run out!

Mostly bead shops, and native american art, crosses and madonna wear.

Headed home, where Craig adamantly, well maybe not adamantly, but strongly suggested we watch this apparel make over show. I'm not sure of the name, but it is the one with the guy and the girl who throw away all of the persons clothes and give that person a credit card or something.

Go to dinner with John and Susie after an interesting clothing fiasco. We fussed with what to wear, I changed in the car, put on semi heels... i think they may officially be called wedges, and rolled out of the car to meet them at their house. To which they said, "oh, this is Albuquerque... people don't get dressed up in Albuquerque." So I changed my shoes back to my sneakers. Thank God.

Over dinner at the foot hill of the mountain, we talked about so many things. I really like John and Susie. They definitely think I am Craig's girlfriend, which couldn't be farther from reality. That bit is really awkward. But mostly, they talk to us as adults, instead of condescending manner in which people over 30 talk to recent college graduates, which is a very nice change of pace. They seem genuinely interested, as we are so interested in them. I'm very glad to have met them. The city lights of albuquerque shine back at us from below, and for a bit, it seems almost like I can hold the whole city in my sight. And it seems so everything. And so nothing.

On the way back there is a bunch of awkward conversation about homosexuality, and we learn that New Mexico was once the leader in Nuclear weaponry. Because there is nothing here. Well damn.

The night is a bit tumultuous. I want to go out and see New Mexico night life, Craig as ever, is apprehensive and just wants to sleep. I hope Colorado is better. It is increasingly getting more difficult spending so much time with one person. I never thought it would be this difficult. The best times, are when I am biking alone.

but i think we will be spending a night in Santa Fe... which, I AM concerned about. It's the money thing.

over my computer, i nurse the night away with Captain Morgan and RC cola. This reminds me of summer. I need those reminders from time to time. Sorry Dustin.

ps. the clouds are weird here.

Arizona and Others

2009-01-22T18:17:00.000-08:00

July 8, 2008
wake up around 7 am in the La Quinta parking lot. We missed the free breakfast.
drive into arizona. temperatures are now around 104. it is a dry heat. deserts.
Stop off at an information center, where the park ranger tells us there is camping right on our way.
There is a stuffed bob cat sitting on their filing cabinet.
The farther we get into the desert, the more bizarre people begin to appear.
the Gas station: At one, where there was a "deli", this tall gaunt man came out into the eating area, where i was trying to get a receipt for gas, with a meat cleaver and dirt all over him.
He kind of looked lost.

KAIBOB LAKE
Another strange, fake town.
There is a big metal train with slab serif type on it saying, "GRAND CANYON"
We find our camp site, which has a lake... that we "aren't allowed" to swim in, set up camp, and then scavenger for food.
Go into town for a bit, and make the biggest single purchase i have made on the whole trip- $12.95 for Rum.
Return to the campsite, to drop off our food and alcohol, but I decide to bike around for a bit to see what is in the area, while Craig went to check out the local pool. I found this huge section of the site that was closed off. This huge part of the lake, that was completely devoid of people. So, I dragged my bike over by the lake, and enjoyed sun and silence. Until this two little boys biked over and waved every 10 feet. I thinnkk they thought I was someone else.
So I decided to see what luck Craig had found with the pool. As it turns out the lake was in pretty bad shape with pesticide run offs or something.
So I biked into town on the little bit of route 66, where craig drove up next to me and explained that the pool was in doors and not quite what we were expecting, but assured me that this other pool would be a perfect substitute... So we snuck into the El Rancho Motel and just swam in their pool. We hadn't showered for quite some time, so the water felt soooo good.
Biked back to the camp site, then drove into town to watch this gun show shoot out thing, and listen to some folk music at this coffee shop.
This sunset, this sunset. is it.
head back to the site again, make a fire and cook some food, count stars, or try to. work a bit on a new song. give up. or give in. sleep.
but not before screaming obscenities at the the bikers. kind of.

--
July 9, 2008
wake up freezing, kind of clutching my guitar and blanket like a teddy bear.
lay awake for a while, seriously contemplating leaving for the lake. the same spot I was at yesterday.
the sun finally comes up, our biker neighbors wake, and the temperature increases about 20 degrees in 10 minutes.
Pack up the tent, head for the Grand Canyon.

GRAND CANYON
paid 12.50 to get in. well, 25 between the two of us.
kind of like Disney Land, a bit unexpected.
saw it. took some pictures. hiked down into it a bit.
hiked out.
left.
that was the grand canyon. why am i not moved by this place?

San Francisco

2009-01-22T18:10:00.000-08:00

July 4, 2008

Leave around 10 am for San Francisco, say our good byes to Amanda and Tim, and I write a message for Charles from us.
Decide to camp off at Pt. Reyes.
Big Smoke from the northern californian fires, thank you big sur. it was blue and black and grey. and cold.

camped with shit load of other people celebrating the fourth of july with pinatas and some terrible highschool dj playing hits from the 90's. I think it was someone's birthday.
tried to find the beach to light fire works, but got lost in the fog and darkness.
Guitar for a bit. sequences, happy.
ended up sleeping in the car, after all.

--
July 5, 2008

Woke up early, 6:30 ish, and biked around for a bit. Found this trail, which ended up going up to the coastal trail.
Climbed up on the enormous tree that has fallen over a river, that had created a natural bridge, hung out there for a bit, and then biked back to the site.
Packed up camp, got breakfast, and persuaded Craig to drive out to the light house.
I'm sooo glad we went out to the light house. Giant cliffs, climbing, lot's and lot's of climbing. Deer. Deer. Paintings of whales and streets clogged with cows.

PORTLAND

2008-07-27T17:11:00.000-07:00

july 1, 2008

June 29, 2008
OREGON,
quick 4+ hour expedition. Mountains again.
The drive into Oregon, I think we both immediately like it better then Seattle. Hills and layers of city. like we hadn't seen before.
but our mission wasn't Portland, it was Beaverton. And our subject, was Craig's cousin Charles.
Enter: Charles.
6'3" 300 lbs. of sarcastic sweetness.
Craig and Charles chatted for a bit about family, while I met Monte, their little rescue kitten.
Later, we meet his room mates: Tim and Amanda who are expecting a baby.
Ultimately, I don't think Amanda ever really liked us there.
Sleep in their guest room... kind of like New York all over again.

July 1, 2008
PORTLAND
Bike around the city. Pioneer Square again.
Watch a man get stun gunned and arrested on the street from the good will window.
Bike to Washington Park uphill in the wrong direction. fuck vista.
Bike to Washington Park in the right direction after meeting the old woman who prunes the rose gardens... she was sweet.
Crazy Hills.
Take the Max back to Beaverton.
Craig, I think is beat from biking, and probably won't bike for the rest of this trip.

Babble babble, blubber and babble.
She keeps a clip tight to hold her mullet back tight, and a ring of fat to warm her neck.
turquoise and plastic rainbow stars hold up her dreams.
you are a queen.
"he'll bite you if you don't have something for him." "they are extortionists"

eat the best indian food ever.

Watch a man get stun gunned and arrested for touching a cop, from thrift store window.
slooow down Portland.

--
July 2, 2008
Research

--
July 3, 2008
Marshmallow woman eating beef stick
Man with "love" carved into his knuckles
Portland is color.
But not every place makes poetics
No Chicken Parm Sub at Dreamers Cafe
Jackpot Record
Pomell's Book Store
Max Ride Home- a bassist makes poetics about his philosophy on music
"I make music, not my instrument"
-The comment phrase, you can tell a lot about a person by the shoes they wear.
Mine a dropping the beat and falling apart.
The two girls across from me, clean and golden.
They are wearing the exact same pair.
4 shoes. Golden Gleaming and crisp.
Your are ripping the your stairways from the house, but ever still kissing the blisters that plague my feet. Waking up next to you, it's a curse.
-And you can write the bravest pop song in the world, but you won't kill the machine.
But, if you can write prayers, than so can I. How fast you drink your beers! Good thing we have them to do our thinking.

Digitial Kitchen, and getting to hell out of Washington

2008-07-27T16:44:00.000-07:00

6/30/08

check out of the hostel, fare well you crazy kids and your water leakage.
grab our portfolios from the car, get a new tube and tire for my bike from Elliot Bay Cycles, a custom bike shop about 6 or 7 blocks from our hostel, while Craig calls Digital Kitchen from a near by coffee shop. We get an appointment with Steven, the studio manager from Digital Kitchen, and meet him about 15 blocks, uphill from where we were.

digital kitchen
Our first independent from the university studio visit. Ah adulthood. ?
So Steve is really great, he gives us the tour of the studio, introduces us to producers and designers, and sits us down in their conference room for questions.
Advice from Steve:
DIRECTION? Do work you want to do, and make it interesting.
PROGRAMS? Know at least after effects really well
STYLE? Your reel can be clean and technically well done, but if it doesn't show your own voice and a different perspective, in short if it is boring, then that's a bad reel.
P.S. experiementation is huge... we walked down into their basement and their was one of their designers/photographers using the lighting room like a laboratory. I think he was trying to slow or freeze bubbles in oil or something. Not quite sure. I think it was for XBOX.

Leaving, he gave us tee shirts, a copy of their reel, his business card and a fiji water for the heat. We left profusely thanking him and giddily skipping down the street. We weren't even expecting a visit.

Pack up the car, and head out to Oregon.

Seattle, your streets are stealing the day time away.

ORGEON
4 hrs. ugh.
mountains again.
The drive into Oregon, was immediately better then Seattle. Hills, and layers of city to keep us happy. Trek over to Beaverton to visit Charles, Craig's cousin, who we were staying with.

6/28/08 gunshots at dinner time. and pot shots for lunch.

2008-07-06T15:37:00.000-07:00

wake up around 8.
shampoo venture.
our very off neighbor kept yelling at his wife and kids. "Quit pretending like you know how to do everything! Watch me take the tent down."
Pack up tent and car, and move to the hostel in Seattle.
Take the ferry over the Puget Sound, and check in.
The Green Tortoise in farrr better than the hostel we stayed at in Barcelona...
This is the view from my window:

leave to find food. Loose my pillow.
Eat a burrito the size of my head.
The street over from us, some guy fires off an entire clip. Cops circle the block.
yeah.
head back to the hostel.

THE RACIST ALGERIANS:
so we meet our room mates in the hostel. Well, two of them. These two guys from brooklyn, who kept talking about Philadelphia, being over run by a specific culture. Though, those words weren't quite used... It seemed to awkwardly go on forever.
So, we dodged them for the rest of our short period at the hostel.

THE OBNOXIOUS AMERICAN:
In the rec room, the hostel has drinking games, we just watched. Really we were watching this obnoxious American kid from Delaware, no less, make an ass out of himself, explaining to kids from Germany and Australia and England how to play the drinking game: Kings. "I'm the American, you should listen to me. I know how it is played." he kind of sucked.

DODGED CRAZY HOMELESS PEOPLE LIKE ZOMBIES IN DAWN OF THE DEAD.
there really is way too many homeless people in Seattle.
Strike that, there really are way to many crazy people in Seattle, that should be institutionalized. On every street, there are about 15 people with those eyes. You know them... you look at them, and immediately you understand that they are on a completely different plane of existence from you. It got really awkward, because there was this half naked guy in a cowboy hat that would run into Craig and I as we tried to make our way to the liquor store. It was really, really, sad. And really, really creepy. That sub culture is rich, and thick, and quite heavy. Seattle is shell. And it can't keep it's clothes on.

After, making it back to the hostel... we climbed up on the roof, where this couple was making out, stared into the rectangular windows of the life box living next to our hostel, and talked about how much we hated Seattle. Each rectangle, glowing with its kens and barbies and charlies. It is funny the conclusions you can make from the snippets of life that you see. Like a shirt, a bike, a pair of pants, a car, a window, the man walking around naked on his balcony... none of them mean anything. The truth is in the sunken eyes of the twitching meth-head below us. Who I don't want to touch or talk to me.

when we retreat back in to sleep, the young married couple show us photos of odd birds for 30 minutes.

6-27-08 I SEE YOUR PAIN SEATTLE, AND I RAISE YOU A BEER.

2008-07-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

Walk around the park. Find the beach, which we thought was going to be a beautiful sandy beach. To our dismay, it was only a rock beach with about 20 mid-aged men and women shell fishing. bust.
purchase 3 min. shower tokens.
drive to Bremerton, after much confusion, to catch the ferry over to Seattle for the day.
Find this little gallery, which we thought was going to be a lame mom and pop water color gallery. Turned out to actually be pretty worthwhile. They had this really obscure artwork downstairs in the basement, as well as this shopping back exhibition... I'll post photos later. We meet one of the local artists showing in the downstairs gallery, Juan Rodriguez. He makes these life size human molds out of packing paper, and these giant 12 ft bird wings, that he sealed in wax. Inspired by Greek mythology I think. a lot.

PIONEER SQUARE
PIKES MARKET
OVER RUN WITH TOURISTS.
washboard band screaming into the streets.

ate dinner at Falafel king.
found our hostel... the green tortoise.
walk down to pioneer square.
grumble a bit about prices. contemplate sneaking into the underground tour, but the gaurd following us around dissuaded our bravado. paid too much for margaritas at this bar. then left for the ferry. oh gawwwd Seattle.

6-26-08

2008-07-06T15:01:00.000-07:00

Wake up at 7 am, freezing, again.
pass a wild bison on the way to the shower. Skipped the 3.25 shower, and headed out west farther out of yellow stone. On the way out, there was a half hour delay due to wild bison crossing. damn. they are so beautiful.

MONTANA
big m and mary statue overlooking the city.
big round oval rocks.
ghost town.
moooooouuuuunnnnntaaaaaiiiiiinnnnsssss.
evvvvvvvverrrr greeeeeennnnsssssssssss.

IDAHO
mountains...
the clearest rivers i have ever seen.
stay clear of falling rocks + wilderness on roadways.
Canada, soooo close.
too many mountains. really.

WASHINGTON
finish reading Tolstoy's, master and man while traveling through the flat grasslands to Seattle.
dust circles.

WASHINGTON DESERT
looks like flat, large, plump, stars, laying on their backs. Hallelujah, hallelujah.
Ride into Washington was accompanied by NPR's Jazz Music Marathon. Get to camp ground, which is basically a lake adjacent to the Womens' Correctional facility. But it is really pretty there, the lake, not the facility. make our tent by this little stream.
fall asleep to the running water. the fire was a bust.
>>And in the night I don't think of fires anymore. I don't think of them at all. Just cold blue and mountains and rivers and all things beautiful. Of cascades and waterfalls and...

you aren't here though.
try to dream of shadow, but only dreamed of her. fuck.

6/25/08 Yellowstone- Morning

2008-07-02T18:12:00.000-07:00

Muccch Warmer.
Wake up at 9:30 Mountain time. Check in. and SHOWER. for a fee.
It would have been easy enough to sneak in, but if paying for this shower aided in the general upkeep of this park, then i was ok with paying it.

After our showers, we make a fire, cook veggie dogs and make 1/2 smores... minus the gelatinous marshmallows. Walk 10 minutes to our campsite view, which was this:

Everywhere is blue.
field of buttercups.
turns into mud.
turns into amphitheater.
Strange neighbors take a candy bar.

Drive 30 mi into the park to visit Old Faithful
geysers. geysers. thousands, thousands of geysers.
Shoot a whole bunch of analogue photos, until i realized i didn't load film. hm.
only a few digital photos remain.

>>humans come to ogle at the land, they have not yet touched or destroyed.

After about an hour of geyser looking, we purchase the most expensive soft serve ever made...
Leave geyser park, and head to Kepler falls to climb around on the water fall rock for a while, searching for a hidden cave that we never found... bust.
Get soaked playing on freezing sand bar in Yellowstone lake:

Go back to camp site, make dinner- corn, veggie dogs, soup, and tea, all without the use of a pot or pan.
Storm comes, so we take cover in our tent. Watch Kevin Costner in dances with wolves on Craig's laptop until it dies, fall asleep to the storm.

6/24/08 WI, MN, SD, WY

2008-07-02T17:08:00.000-07:00

WISCONSIN, MISSISSIPPI RIVER, MINNESOTA, SOUTH DAKOTA, WYOMING.

The western part of Wisconsin are Hills and valleys with little farms, with an occasional massive rock formation that juts up from the middle of a tree cluster like a statue.
Mississippi, WIIIIIDDDDDDEEEE. Thoughts of seger, drove over the Mississippi at sunrise. I've decided I'm coming back here, via river travel.
EYOTA, MINNESOTA-
accents. fargo. this place could not get any flatter.
gas here is roughly $3.87, the cheapest we have encountered so far. We stopped at a little gas station for a while to give the honda a break. There I calmed my dad's nerves assuring him that I stayed at the Howard Johnson last night, and not next to a roller coaster in fake city Wisconsin Dells. Craig seems tired, and he sleeps for about 40 mins, before we get moving again.
The farther we go, the better I feel. This driving... it is a good kind of therapy.

>>And the mountain masses move in motion like mechanical bulls. Still, my thoughts lie in the crease of your jeans. Where your hip meets your thigh, and we drink it in.
This dream-- The old man giggled and he whispered at me,
"Even though you scan see it all see every thing all at once, if you close your eyes lightly and count backwards from 100 and at 90 everything will be a blur again, and you will sleep again. But, if you break it and think it, you will not sleep, but will be bothered to wake to the same things again."--i count back from 100 to fall asleep now.

What is the Big Bother OK?
I killed a bird today.
Or more, it flew into the front window of the car.
I killed it in South Dakota.
So Craig had to drive.

As we drove west more, we approached this lovely patch of nothing called the Badlands.
Out of the grass, sprang beautiful sand and rock formations, which I found out later date back to the Cretaceous, Eocene, and Oligocene epochs. It is also an area greatly enriched with history of the Lakota Sioux Nation. Sprinkled about, were wild buffalo and hand painted signs pointing us in the direction of Mt. Rushmore (Exit 61), Rapid City, The Reptile Garden, and many others.

Stopped off in Rapid City for camping sustenance.

WYOMING FOR THE LONG HAUL- SCATTER MY ASHES HERE MOM, will you?

WYOMING
So, what looked like storm clouds in the distance, actually turned out to be the Rockies.
Lightening storms.
Stop for photo excursion- those photos will be updated later when developed.
Meet a trucker who excited tells me about the photos of the deer she took. She was sweet.

These mountains are too much of everything.And they follow us almost to Yellow Stone. Or to the town of Sheridan, Wyoming.

SHERIDAN, WYOMING
Our phone batteries are dead. So we stop off at a gas station, which would be the last one before we go over the mountain.
So we charge our phones on the side of the building.
Purchase wood from the blonde cashier from Montanna?
Speeding ticket... 43 in a 35, $102, 102 more miles until our destination.
mountain
Travel 8,600 ft over mountain, winding roads, snow, rock cliffs, ravine, rapids, 20+ deer along the way, 360 degree rock walls surrounding us... oh yeah.
Stop to play along side the rapid water in the ravine, then continue onto Yellowstone.

YELLOWSTONE
29 mi to camp site after entering the gates to the park.
Our site is BridgeBay
...after getting lost for a bit trying to find a spot, we end up setting up our tent at 2 am. The night is freezing, even with 2 pairs of pants, a hoodie, and 2 shirts. And there is some animal in the bush next to us.

New Summer, new adventures, new love love loving feelings

2008-07-02T16:52:00.000-07:00

6/23/08
Good headway. Harrisburg to Wisconsin Dells, WI. Last night spent the night at Craig's house in Harrisburg, PA.
Duke, the flesh eating dog and a big breakfast in the morning and a fake engagement ring ($6 from Boscov's) to calm angry Christian Right conservatives. You guys still have my love.

Today-
Departed at 9 am. Bypassed Ohio.
Illinois, for a brief 4-5 hours, saw the incredibly geometric skyline of Chicago. Blasted Elton John on the way to Wisconsin Dells.

WISCONSIN DELLS
attempts to find sleep went kind of like this=
Camping grounds=RV HELL + texas chainsaw massacre-esque
private camping grounds=crazy 24 hr survellience and $40
Howard Johnson=way more then we can afford
sleeping in our car outside of "Knigts Inn", in the fake town of Wisconsin Dells next to a roller coaster for an hour until a cop tried to break into our car to wake us us-- priceless.
I love waking up to flashlights in my face.
"Drink up nigs", town bar
--
IHOP immediately after for strawberry pancakes, then drive through dawn into the next day.

The Rip Roaring Midwest. God, I love a good rumble...

>>hunger, munger, younger, lunger, dunger, bunger cunger, eugner, funger, gunger, iunger, junger, kunger, munger, nunger.

The *dore isn't going to be here in the morning. It's song collapsed.
It fell into a tunnel of sharps and flats and turned down branches.
But the song was a beautiful sound.

>>Even though the dreams have become violent static, I'm very wound. I am also very optimistic. A fool's thoughts and processes.
Hallelujah.

London. day 33. 2007.

2007-08-12T14:10:00.001-07:00

july 9, 2007.

I’ve really dreaded writing that date.
And as I write it, so so many memories flood back to me.
Trying to remember who I am, who I was.
Where I have been, and where I want to go.
Here is a list of some things I never want to forget:
This is for me, not for you

RCA,
Tai buffet,
Magma,
Pizza wine,
Sainsbury,
Your silhouette looking out of our flat window,
Jillian and her new found love of skulls,
The tube,
Chancery lane,
The parks, oh god the parks,
The BOX,
Lee Meade,
Mika,
The busking whistler,
Betty’s,
Planes,
Bright eyes,
The feeling of Spain,
Al’s,
Dancing,
Dance off’s with John and Dave and Jillian, (I still say Dave and I won that)
The walkabout,
gin and tonic,
Whispers,
Forts,
John, Dave, Jillian, and Craig: Our little make-shift family
Dave and his bedbugs
Remember the sunrise through our huge window,

This is goodbye
This tastes like yours
When you said goodbye
But this park is open and free and on fire,
All day.
Just for us, ok?
So grab my hand
We’ll scrape away the gray
And we will make tomorrow even better.

We can scream,
Top off our lungs with wine
Just let out the tape and spit out its lines.
Cause baby we got the moves,
And we gots the rhymes.
So grab onto tomorrow,
take all of our tomorrows,
And make them SHINE!

In the end your are only as good as your best writing. Your best drawing.
We have about an hr and a half left on this plane ride home.
Then philly.
See my parents.
And tomorrow Newark, see dustin.
And next week?
Next month?
And?
And.

Last night I dreamed of a park.
No one could keep on their skin there.
Not even the babies.
And I remember being repulsed by the man with no eyelids.
He kept trying to get me.
And I kept running away.
I didn’t want to catch the disease.

London. day 32. 2007.

2007-08-12T14:08:00.000-07:00

july, 8 2007.

ha ha.
this is our last day.
that is so strange.
i will definitely miss my flat mates.
and this stupid city.

go for a very early morning walk.
go to the park off of lams conduit.
ran into some goats there.
and they greeted me at the gate.
kind of a random place for goats.
anyway.
the flowers in the garden here are purple.
and they frame the cinema.
i didn't know there was a cinema so close by.
an old bald man walks up with his dog.
this whole scene reminds me of you.

everything is beautiful.
everything is beautiful.

a woman came up to ask me if i knew this area.
i feel like i do.
she was just looking for toilets.
i was glad i could tell her where to go.

sometimes everything seems so fucking beautiful.
the renior cinema in front of me says:
"not here to be loved."

there are too many coincidences here.
its getting really weird.
owen on the carousel, the cairo kid reading slaughter house 5, the july song, on the road in brighton, marlborough

and i don't think i have ever wanted to remember one place so much before.
the three dogs playing in the park.

decide to hang out with the illustration kids, but switch that decision pretty quickly.
the girls go shopping wiht Lafferty.
greg and i go back to camden town to get nachos.
why are they so gooood?
walk forever to get to the design museum.
sneak onto the tubes with greg becase i forgot my oyster card with john.
beautiful day.
go back to the flats.

jillian already gutted it.
and it sucks.
That really made it hit that we are actually leaving.

We planned a flat dinner, at the first place craig, jillian, Genevieve and I all ate at our first night in London. We were going to all eat the same meal we had that fist night: veggie burgers, chips, and the complimentary beer. But as luck would have it, they stopped serving food ten minutes before we got there. So we went to subzero instead. Sub zero is the sister restaurant to the Free House. They have the exact same menus, they just stay open later and have a much more chill atmosphere. But then they didn’t have veggie burgers. Ugh.
We really had a great time anyway though.
Breakfast club.
Exchanged numbers at the flat.
this is actually pretty sad.
Nothing as sad as when Sailer left though.
That was really sad, because he wasn’t coming back to the states with us, but exploring more of Europe. Good for him.

London. day 31. 2007.

2007-08-12T14:06:00.000-07:00

july 7, 2007.

again and again.

woke up.
Harrods with Craig.
I don't like Harrods.
$60 on chocolate and tea and biscuits for family and friends.
lame.
walked to Hyde Park with Craig.
It's really hot today.
Tour de France put a kink in our adventure to the Hard rock cafe.
EVERYTHING was closed off.
but we had to protect the chocolate we had just bought so I walked roughly 10+ blocks to find this giant bag of ice.
this is a very wealthy area. I finally get back to Hyde park and meet up with craig 45 minutes later, and we successfully make a portable refrigerator in his book bag.
jess bogart shows up.
craig and i attempt to go home.
jess goes to harrod's.
they closed the tube.
insanity.
takes two hours and a few bus rides to get back to the flat.
on a normal day it would have taken 10-15min.
sleep for a while.
wake up to harry potter and jillian yelling at her boyfriend.
"i don't take shit!"
go to the hard rock cafe with Virginia and Craig.
Get wine and Muller yoghurt's.
muller yoghurt's is so delicious.
drink the wine.
the beach house.
dancing at the after school club.
i left my id.
the bouncers think i'm 14.
couldn't get in.
so john and i stumble home.
pass out.

--
i am most definitely not 14.

London. day 30. 2007.

2007-08-12T14:03:00.000-07:00

july 6, 2007.

wake up about 10 am. clean.
i dreamed last night.
but it wasn't coming in the morning.
that's ok.
went to magma with craig and then to portabella.
with bogart also.
almost finished shopping for friends and family.

came back to the flat.
slept for a long long time in the window sill.
drank with john, dave and matt (dave's brother)

go for a walk for a while.
talk until 4 am with john.
ate pita. went to bed.
hope tomorrow is shinier and happy.
gotta go to the Hard Rock Cafe somehow.

--
that simple smile stapled on
make the world dance.
pretty baby.

london. day 29. 2007.

2007-08-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

july 5, 2007.

woke up early in the morning.
on the hallway floor.
with dustin.
went back to sleep in my bed.
note to self: don't let the door shut on its own. it slams. makes jillian mad.
dustin is packed.
he is leaving today.

apparently while we were sleeping in the hallway, these spanish guys were yelling at us and laughing and taking pictures. great.
i slept through it.
amazing.
went to the train station.
said our goodbyes to dustin and his box of disassembled bike and clothes.
your really beautiful.

brighton beach
pretty much beautiful
cold. windy.
rocks not sand.
carousel on the beach.
went to the pier.
bought cotton candy.
went on the crazy mouse with scat.
fun fun!
went to a used and antique bookstore.
AMAZING.
winnie the pooh. cruel Frederick. peter pan: far too expensive for me.
else i'd have bought all of them.
but at 200-300 a piece... eh.
amazing.
bought a copy of on the road, the odyssey, and the jungle.

back at the flats.
minor tension.
a bunch of people come over:
bogart, leah, scat, lafferty, andrew (who is AMAZING), and a whole bunch of other people.
but i can't remember.
i went to bed early.
in my bed.

london. day 28. 2007.

2007-08-07T12:51:00.001-07:00

july 4, 2007.

--
don't be vague.
be brave.
is what i am thinking.
--

me- "sailer, you can be cap't Jack Sparrow."
sailer- "no, I'm just a sailer."

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!
freedom from england you say?
pff whatev.

walked around south hampton row for a while.
got fruit from the little market by our flats.
sat outside for a while eating fruit outside our flat.
it is an exceptionally nice day today.
dustin is throwing grapes at the people who pass by.
but only the ones in suits.
and we talk about what we are going to do with the rest of our summer.
plotting.

and i miss home.

and my family.

and familiarity.
--

go to the vc luncheon.
i still have a bad limp.
what the hell did i do to my foot??
probably a pulled muscle.
jess bogart is very sweet.
marissa is very sweet also.
i can't spell her last name with out looking it up.

went to the highest point in london with the vc kids.
it pales in comparison to spain.
the view was actually pretty ugly.
did the group photo thing.
there were buskers and i made bill dance with me.
we danced on the highest point in london.
even though the view was ugly.

went on a canal ride at the NACHO veggie place with the vc kids and professors.
i want a boat.
it reminds me of kim, and our plans to move to mexico for a year.
and live on a boat.
that'd be beautiful.
but i don't think she'll do that. or dream about that again.

came back to the flats around 7 pm.
drank wine with dustin.
went to south hampton row to collect people.
went dancing. SO MUCH FUN.
that was the best night of dancing in london by far.
people who came out with us included:
scat, bogart, caitlyn, sailer, and craig.
i love these people.
jess found a boy.
he was really sweet.
pillar. bouncers. run!
find her.
relief.
home.
pass out in the hallway with dustin.
[that last bit may not make any sense. it isn't supposed to make sense to you, but it will for all those involved.]

craig: "it's ok, maybe he'll add another element to your art. like rainbows and butterflies."

--

and HEY! i just think you are kind of.

and the people
take the compliments
and i can't deal

london. day 27. 2007.

2007-08-07T12:39:00.000-07:00

july 3 2007.

woke up early again.
7 am.
got breakfast with dustin where we learned what brown sauce meant.
for those breakfast lovers, it is Worcester sauce. start putting a1 on your eggs. it is a most delectable combination.
decided it was a nice day to see the changing of the guard.
it wasn't. we missed it.
saw the tail end of this royal brass band.
odd hats and such.
tourists.
photography. but i left my camera.
big ben.
buckingham palace.
guys on horses.
ended up in green park. i think.
and a little crafty gallery.
the art there was lame.
bob ross. still lifes and such.
hung out for a long time in green park on a bench.
talking about home and art.
and books. and things.
decided a magma visit was in order.
i love art talks.
i love that you are interested.
all you can eat tai buffet. so so gooood.
5.50
delicious.
Toga party? jill kruger dressed me.

your compliments kill me
and make me feel
make me feel
unsure
and
and.

our flat all went.
i love my flatmates.
we have the best flat.
woke up the next morning in Marissa's bed.

huh.

london. day 26. 2007.

2007-08-07T12:09:00.000-07:00

july 2, 2007.

hoxton square.
this is where we had the run in with the diamond geezer.
morag myerscough.
design agency.
female owner. creative and such.

where's John?
Dave and I go on a very frustrating run across London to try and tell John where we are meeting for Nadav Kander. We never meet up with John.

Nadav Kander
talked a lot about intuition. about how his working process is based on intuition.
he doesn't sketch out his ideas first.
he said he likes to just dive into them.
uses lighting as a way to explore narrative. amazing.
not craft driven.
harry dizzitto.

insecurity:
the most creative part.
if you feel secure in what you are creating, then you aren't breaking new ground.
you aren't pushing you limits.

It's like diving into a pool. It's never good until its good.

mitch epstein.
relates much to Russian Constructivist art.
what isn't there is much more important than what is there.
the quieter sides of people are what is more interesting.
ROTHKO.
not trying to be pretty.
fields of color.
fields of painting.
martin par. name drop. look up.
lauren greenfiels. name drop. look up.
shoots all his portraits with a hasselblad.
lucky bastard.
i am in love with nadav.

--

a little more green and a little less gray.

--
tonight's a wine night with dustin and the illustration kids. sainsbury central away!

Spain. day 4. 2007.

2007-08-06T17:09:00.000-07:00

July 1, 2007.
5:45 am wakeup.
pack.
reus.
two formal lines of insanity.
daddy's little girl tattooes on this really lame Paris Hilton-esque British girl.
tramp stamp and such.
figures.
leah gets her aloe taken away at the airport.
customs and such.
she cries in line about it. it was really funny.
plane ride.
welcome back to London...
and its rainy.
well damn.
this bus ride back to Victoria Station seemed to take much longer then the first time.
Finished Huckleberry Fin. it was great.
saw Big Ben, for the first time.
eh, it was big ben.

left for nachoes in Camden with Lafferty.
That was a long long wait.
Sainsbury.
bought a bag of oranges.
hung out in the Illustration flat for a while.
left my keys in our flat before leaving for Barcelona, so once again I was locked out.
left a note on the door for dave and john to please come get me once they got home from the Illustration flat.
I missed our flat.
it is really funny how the familiarity of Hatton Gardens and our flats and flatmates make it feel like home.
it's comforting.
John came in around 10 pm-ish.
i was really glad to see him.
By now I am about halfway through my bottle of wine.
walked around our area with John and talked about religion and art and all those things that never matter.
came back to the flat and Dustin was there.

--

the stars were lodged in the plane window.
but they were only punctures.
but damn they made the light look beautiful.

she has a bad face but a reall pretty dress.
and that's how she knows it'll be alright.

Spain. day 3. 2007.

2007-08-06T16:13:00.000-07:00

I screamed my songs of you out at the sea,
but that devil temptress she only swallowed them.
So I whispered your secrets in between the boulders and the rocks,
but they echoed back empty and wrong.
so long.

and Barcelona, she lay quiet in the background.
--

8:30 am wake up to Aviva rummaging around.
take a shower.
lime green tile.
lime green walls.
shower goes much more smoothly today.
write another blog.
today it was the Amsterdam and baseline blog entry.
ate breakfast.
nutella and cereal.
departed for the amazingly beautiful Ocata beach.

and there was a church.
and a mountain. that looked like storms.
the girls sun bathed.
me and Lafferty went to explore.
climbed all over the large rock jetties.
more churches. kind of the same.
old spanish women.
beautiful.
they say hola to me.
and i really like to play faux native.
but my spanish is bad.
and my dictionary is far away by the girls.
more jogging.
stare at the massive mountain from the road bridge.
and the water is more beautiful here.
and memories are tattooed onto the rocks and walls.
but the ocean can remember.
even when we won't.

hey, hey, did you look at this same water?
from this same spot?
and did you sleep here?

Lafferty and I meet back up with the girls.
lay down for a bit, but I don't enjoy sunbathing so I get up shortly after.
so i go explore on my own.
climb some rocks.
find a small stretch of beach.
secluded.
got in the water.
i miss my guitar.
i miss writing music.
head back to the group.

met Lafferty halfway back, he left to explore also.
i told him about the little stretch of beach.
he told me the girls were tanning with their tops off.
they were.

Spain is poetry.
we decide to leave for Parc Guell.
but we have an two hour delay for our train ride back to the city.
another man under another train.
COME ON EUROPE.

we are all burnt very badly, so leah decides to feast on McDonald's and skip Parc Guell to go lay down at the hostel.

Parc Guell:
beauty you will never know until you go there.
you can see all of barcelona.
and a spanish busker serenades us in the background at sunset.
and god must feel kind of like this.

Spain. day 2. 2007.

2007-08-06T16:04:00.000-07:00

june 28, 2007

woke up very early.
8:30 am.
got a shower and free breakfast at the hostel.
this breakfast consisted of bread, chocolate spread, and cereal.
went to the beach.
wandered around alone.
found a hoard of naked men.
swam in the beautiful Mediterranean sea.
took an "autobus" to Las Rambla.

Las Rambla:
many many people.
many street performers.
great shopping.
almost bought a beautiful knife with Lafferty.
I am kicking myself now that I didn't.
no one speaks any english and it is as frustrating as it is beautiful.
so i bought a spanish to enligh dictionary.
meant to buy peanuts for dinner, but somehow bought dried corn instead. also known as maize. pronounced like mice.
don't ask.

Found Sagrada Familia.
got in for free because it was closing.
absolutely unreal. so so beautiful.
the staircases. they were like a dream.

bought candy and Sangria from a local market.
went back to the hostel.

London. day 25. 2007.

2007-08-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

left for the bus stop at 2 am.
didn't sleep.
and beauty in missing people some people who i never thought i'd miss.
and goodbyes.
for five days.
and its ok.
john and dave are going to paris.
craig and jillian, spain.
we talk about how we'll meet up there.
we aren't meeting up.

took the N8 bus to Victoria Station.
took a bus from there to Stansted airport.
had a minor heart attack thinking we couldn't buy tickets to get on the bus.
as it tunrs out we were fine. no one getting on the bus spoke english.
from Stansted took a plane into Rues.
and the clouds looked like the hands of a large old woman.
and the ground, a hippie mosaic.
and like, I'm still in love with Brighteyes, who accompanies me through this flight.
the countryside here is more beautiful then all of England.

and the people:

no one speaks english.
very sweet girl works at our hostel.
our hostel=all guys
If I eat another cookie I will vomit.
bought 1.80 wine.
drank on the beach with Aviva.
her cork busted in her bottle, but it was saved my this saint pin her mom gave her for her travels to keep her safe. go figure.
intoxicated adventures with Lafferty while the ladies sun bathed.
and a depressing conversation with this Spanish fisherman.
learned how to ask "Are there any vegetarion restaurants here?"
spent too much money on dinner.

--

and the static that is in your eyes,
is no where near as beautiful as your cotton filled heart.
but I'll never forget how cheap I felt when I realized that the rainbows we owned were backed by cardboard,
and I,
I was only just a backdrop for your stories.

London. day 24. 2007.

2007-08-06T15:34:00.000-07:00

girl meets girl.
girls drive off cliff.
the end.

letter press workshop all day at the London College of Communications. And we all felt so damn cool to hang out in their studios. Oh you, University of DE. Why do you have to be so, you? Saw the Stanley Kubrick archive which, I mean, was amazing.
and then there was Paul Rennie. He has the biggest Tom Eckersly poster collection. That's pretty cool.
Dave's pianos look like monsters.

--
night mole, go see this movie.

seriousography

and you can be honest.

and your art is stupid.

and you can.

you can.

London. day 23. 2007.

2007-07-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

JUNE 25, 2007.
Woke up really early.
6:30 am.
Shower.
Huckleberry fin.
Dishes.
Feeling healthier.
red wine is so good.
drinking with flatmates is so good.
i never could have predicted London would be this amazing.
the friendships that have strengthened.
the ones that have weakened.
can't wait until Barcelona.

London College of Communications:
loved their type treatment.
and illustration work.
i like open bindings.
They really had a great presentation of work. Not only was it beautiful, but it was conceptually driven and made sense. I think at the University for our Year End Show, we should think a bit more about concept as opposed to just trying to pretty up a wall. They used tree branches and tree stumps to present the illustration work. It was basically amazing. Very cool.
--

today, mostly worked on blogs.
today, mostly unproductive.
maybe walking later.

Dave and John went out to dinner with Dave's cousin so the Illustration flat and I drank a bit and listened to music out of Lafferty's computer.
Danced a bit.
dancing in London is great.
I'm stealing Lafferty's music when I get home.
Epic drawings in Lafferty's Series of Epic drawings book he made sectioned off from the rest of his sketchbook.
Sailer...
Then we went to Sainsbury to purchase more goodness.
I bought pita bread and humus, but while I was ringing up at the register, the cashier pretty much made me buy these jelly filled donuts. There were 12 for 20p, which was reallllly cheap for jelly donuts. Even though I don't really like jelly donuts. But I thought at least my flatmates might enjoy them. Whatever. I came back to our flat and John and Dave were back. Anyway, long story short, John and I ended up having a jelly donut fight in the kitchen and now there are chunks of jelly donut everywhere. I woke up smelling of strawberry, and sticking to the pillow. It was an excellent night.

London. day 22. 2007.

2007-07-26T22:48:00.000-07:00

June 24, 2007.

Slept in until 9:30 today.
Thank God no construction on Hatton Gardens.
Read more Huckleberry Fin.
Showered.
left for Camden town with Bogart, Craig, Jillian, and Genevieve.
Camden Town is pretty ridiculous.
The girls all go to Primark, but I can't stand the commercial insanity, so I leave by myself for Hyde Park's speaker's corner.

Speaker's Corner. spewing hate. voices at once. each song poem. together a maelstrom. together a violent noise. MY god! MY god! MY god!

the dialogue went kind of like this:
So screams the Irishman from the crowd, "Anyone who needs a God is a moral Child!"
He is screaming at the Arabic man screaming about god and who is and isn't going to be saved. "What is the love of God," the Irishman cries, "I don't see the love of God!"
The Irishman is wearing a mighty ducks starter jacket. I think I love this poor drunk bastard.
The Irishman rants about politics, "Tony Blair, for the last 10 years has failed us, we need each other. Not God! Not politics!"
Finally I make my way to this black man preaching about Christianity. There is a guy who looks Indian, the Irishman again, and three other men standing around him. Honestly I went over there because I noticed that the Irishman was there, and was most interested in what he had to say. I was really content on just being a bystander and listening in on the religious dogma that was spewing out all over the place, but it seemed the speakers were not going to allow me to do that. As soon as I walked over, this woman standing asked me, "Are you Christian?".
I told her no.
"Well do you accept Jesus as your Savior?"
"No, sorry",I replied
"Well, why not?" she asked looking incredibly puzzled.
She then shook her head disapprovingly and said, "Jesus is the creator,I will pray for you."
Well I got pretty tired of her praying for me so I moved on to the next cluster of people.
I spotted a smaller group towards the back of the corner and decided that would be an easier group to hang out in. I was wrong. This group was the most interactive...
As soon as I walk up the man on the chair asked me, "Are you Christian?"
I said no and all of the surrounding people laughed. There were about 5 people standing around this speaker. I assumed they had been debating this for quite a while.
The little Indian man to my right grabbed my arm and leaned in asking softly, "Well then what DO you believe in? Where will you go when YOU die?"
I laughed and told him that I didn't know and didn't want to get into it.
"But we had to come from somewhere," he said, "who made us?"
-the Indian man and I chatted for a bit.
-Then there was a man with an umbrella to my left. He kept taking me by the shoulders and moving me. He said he was protecting me.

Then I met Angela. She saw God in her hospital room. She doesn't believe in religion. Only God. non denominational. I liked her. Even though I don't quite believe in her "God". But she is praying for me also.

after she left, I got back into it with this speaker who screamed about how feminism was evil because women have become temptresses. Screamed about how all sin is equally the same. Then for some reason the guys standing around with me listening started hitting on me really bad and it was really awkward. So I left after a bit, and one of the guys wanted to come with me. I evaded him pretty quickly. I wish I wasn't such a girl.

Speaker's Corner really was an excellent follow up to Primark with the girls and Craig. I could only stay in that store for about 5 minutes before feeling incredibly claustrophobic. It made all the people running and grabbing at clothing look so cheap and so stupid and so pointless. And very, very empty. It was nice to leave there and go speakers corner where people generally felt passionately about something more then what's fed to them. Then again, maybe its exactly the same.

lee mead. john and dave.

London. day 21. 2007.

2007-07-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

JUNE 23, 2007.

Portbello Road.
bought jasmine oil
and food.
bought a letterpress stamp, of a boar's head.

and these aren't people, these faces.
those are vessels, tese bodies.
carrying bitterly polite tea.
--

Ian Mortimer
is amazing.
went to his studio.
paintings and type presses EVERYWHERE.
lums press
john randall
1815: first sans serif typeface
william dunbar: a contemporary Chaucer
READ IT. READ IT AGAIN.
CHEEKHOLD

--
mint steeples.
wine. so good.
your couple, is strange.
bus.
asian woman, eye bugged out.
camera didn't work again.
i hate canon.
i hate this camera.

--
incident at Lancaster Gate
and in between
i see you
and you kind of look like me.
only pretty.
and with blue bullets for eyes.
But there are things we'll never know.
like the boy in the corner, is really there.
with the hat.
all pretty.
all pretty.
we got it.
we got it.
we got it boy.
now dance.

disgusting, drooling, snorting, poking, preachers.
--

watched the Big Red One with Lafferty and Scat and Sailer.
fell asleep to Huckleberry fin again.

London. day 20. 2007.

2007-07-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

JUNE 22. 2007.
stone carver

craig almost passed out.

saw an amazing exhibit.
a pretty cool exhibit.
Went and saw Mika Mika and No Age with Dave and John.
very much not sober.
drunkenly fumbled through a fake british accent talking to some guy at the club about MOTHER (an ad agency)
his friend works for mother.
He asked me where I was from and I completely forgot about my accent and what I was doing and told him the States. To which he replied, well you don't sound like you are from the States. I got weird after that so I found left and found John and Dave.
wonderful night.

London. day 18. 2007.

2007-07-26T22:09:00.000-07:00

JUNE 21, 2007.

John Brown Publishing.
um what?
went back to the RCA show with Lafferty, Sailer, and Scat.
played with this flower with Lafferty the whole way.
not really impressed with the Fine Art section.
got ice cream.
ditched the flower.
got a free balloon.
sucked out the helium in the tube with Sailer.
went to see the Central Saint Martins show.
fell in love.
their textile design is incredible.
University of DE might be doomed in that department.
took a lot of business cards.
got lost in their labyrinth of a college.
got locked out of the flats again.
went to the student center.

--
your dreams are sedated.
your words sedated.
talk sedated.
speak sedated.
said faded.
like yellow, jaded.
like heroes.
but more like fear.
and oh,
hear!
here!
hear!
--
Basking in the sweet perfume of a thousand lead soldiers. toys and otherwise.
her large breasts can make way for big dreams.
you go girl.
--
the girl on the train who kind of looks like Katie has equal distance parallel lined cuts down her fore arm. stories again. i don't know.
--
cut to end of day. fell asleep to Huckleberry Fin.

London. day 17. 2007.

2007-07-26T21:40:00.000-07:00

JUNE 20. 2007.
--
tilt it just a little bit.
love it just little bit.
Why don't you ask them what they want to be?
--
Met with Wendy Scott.
very scattered
cray brothers
diamond geezers
east end.

Randomly met with the son of one of the cray brothers while sitting in the park talking with Wendy Scott. The Cray brothers were notorious gangsters in England years ago. Wendy Scott explained that most of the remaining family of the Cray brothers were in jail or outlaws. This guy drunkenly, I think he was drunk, explained that he had just gotten out of jail but was due to move prisons or something along those lines. Apparently they were very serious killers in the day. Ha, and we shared a park moment with one of their offspring. He kept screaming over and over, "Do you know who I am?"
All in all Wendy was a pretty cool lady. Even though she kept telling us to answer these unstable questions that were so scattered no one knew what she was asking, and kept telling us that we didn't have enough time. I think she was supposed to give an assignment... we never got it. Apparently there was no time.
things I took from her talk besides the gangster run in:

be IN the moment
try not to create the end result

but she was real pretty and drove a real pretty bike.
i guess that's all that really matters.

--
wrote two letters home in the park, one to Mimi at Bloom and one to Seger. I miss Seger. I missed his retirement party because I am here in London.
--

White Cube
Damien Hurst

dear damien hurst,

with your sheep
and your jesus,
get a life.
much love,
Christine Faulkner

EYE MAGAZINE
very cool.
not as cool as Baseline.
Made me want to go to the Rodin museum in Philly.

Bill and Ashley asked if Craig and I would want to go to dinner with Ian Mortimer at this restaurant off of Lambs Conduit, which is really close to our flats.
Prior to going Craig and I found a nice little thrift store and a nice park that we could only go into if we had a child. Weird, but nice I guess.
We talked about what we had seen, talked shit on Hurst. Talked about philosophies of art, philosophies of life. Ian is amazing. The food was amazing. Talked about Amsterdam, oh Amsterdam. We were then invited to go to his studio on Saturday. I can't wait. Great great dinner. I did not expect it to go this well at all.

--
I own this
I own this whole area
I am Charlie Cray's son.
--

London. day 16. 2007.

2007-07-12T08:23:00.000-07:00

Kerry Purcell
worked at Baseline for seven years.
wrote the first article ever, on the amazing Alexy Brodovitch.
He gave us a brief lecture on Brodovitch, though most us knew quite a bit about him. Born in Russia in 1898, he became a graphic designer in the 1930's and moved to America. Here in the States, he began a course for fellow photographers and designs called design laboratory that was based around raw expressions. He would choose a word and these amazing photographers which included Richard Avedon as well as many others, would respond to this word by shooting. Inevitably, Brodovitch became the pupil and the teacher. Later he became the creative director at Harper's Bazaar. Followed a philosophy on photo editing, that photographers should make 3 or 4 images by cropping it differently. This alludes to his love of jump cuts and appreciation of Godard and Serge Eisenstein, the director of Battleship Potempkin. He theorized that he was making paper movies.
Purcell talked about researching, as he is a writer...
and just in case you were wondering, he says that 90% of information is not found on the internet. So re-learn how to use the library fool!

got lost around Carnaby for a while. I decided I'm not really into Carnaby as much as I thought.

white house
John Smith.
specializes in TV commercials for NYC, LA, and LONDON
has been working for 20 years.
He works only with rough cutting, therefore he does not clean the film picture, that is someone else's job. Therefore the image he reports back is not broadcast quality.
new vocab words:
dailies:processed footage and sent to white house same day. The UK refers to this as rushes.
EDL:editing decision list

--
pretty fly day.

London. day 15. 2007.

2007-07-12T08:18:00.001-07:00

june 18.

I saw an asian woman on the tube today.
her face wasn't old.
her feet were blue-ish yellow.
they told old stories.
they were old.
and she looked up at me and smiled.
it could have been nothing.
it could have been everything.

went to the RCA show today and it was amazing. it was overwhelming, to much to say. you kind of just had to be there.
rca

Amsterdam. day 2. 2007.

2007-06-30T10:03:00.000-07:00

wake up.
shower.
write.
right.
partake in Amsterdam culture. again.
this is tai.
this time.
think about how all of Holland is kind of like an airport.
feeling very much like Amsterdam.
pack.
partake.
think about how Hollands tree line forms a grid system.
think about what dustin is doing in Belgium.
i mean about you.
i mean i think she is complaining again. I mean whining.
you know.
i mean.
i mean i think i am on the boat again.
with Scat.
we lost the rest of the kids somewhere on the boat.
i mean we found the boat deck.
Holland is an eerie shade of yellow now.
i wish I knew how long we have been on this deck. but i am glad i do not know.
space jesus.
Scat says, "it never rains when you want it too." and that makes me smile.
you know why.
kensington.
hyper speed to the boat dining lounge.
orange. m&m. good.
sleep out on the deck a bit.
lounge again.
finish reading Slaughter House 5.
and it all kind of has the tastey feeling of the end.
--
giants and bombs
--

Amsterdam. day 1. 2007.

2007-06-29T00:37:00.000-07:00

amsterdam.

It took FOREVER to get into Amsterdam. From the boat we took a train to Schipol airport which was about 30-40 minutes. Then we took a bus to the hotel which was about 10 min. The hotel would not let us check in until one pm. So we literally just waited around to check in. Lame. We finally arrived in the city by about 2 pm.
But it was glorious

and this is kind of how it went, with some details excluded:

train ride to Schipol Airport. tourists.
Train to the Schipol Hotel. tourists.
check in. tourists.
Hours of issues with checking in. tourists.
check in. tourists.
Train from Schipol to Amsterdam. tourists.
First Cafe, very awesome but far too crowded. so we left.
Second cafe. White widow. tourists.
Candy store. tourists.
we decided to separate from the boys and meet them in front of the Van Gough museum at 4:30pm
Van Gough Museum:
ok so, a bit dissappointed with the Van Gough museum as most of the paintings I love from him are in the States. Good for the U.S., bad for Holland. Also, the ticket guy or security guy or whatever almost would not let me in. He asked me where my mom was, thought I was a fourteen or fifteen year old, and then told me I was bad for skipping school. Sometimes I hate being so damn short.

Max Beckman was having a show there as well, which I liked far better then the Van Gough exhibit. He has such a raw expressive use of color and composition that makes his work nothing less then beautiful.
the guys never met back up with us.
--
third cafe
--
Anne Frank House:
amazing pretty much.
saw the actual attic Anne Frank stayed in.
kind of creepy.
--
fourth cafe
--
sex museum. worth all 3 euros.

later that night...
went back to the hotel. partook in Amsterdam culture. again.
Leah had not been feeling well all day so she and Aviva went to bed first.
meanwhile, on our balcony, I thought of owen, and god, and space.
but apparently while we were gone, Lafferty, Jesse, Greg, and Scat came back early to the hotel to trip off of shrooms. When we came back, Jesse was no where to be found and when we asked the guys where he went their stories kind of all went like this:

¨Jesse was talking about not remembering his memories and then he started to freak out and ran out of the room screaming about how he could not remember his first tooth brush. We have not seen him since."

Eventually we found the little guy wandering around with no shoes on in the hallways.
Apparently Lafferty found a crytal bathroom and a hallway with a mirror at the end of it kind of like the ring. We went to go find these magical splendours.

how did we afford this hotel.
we have a giant carved wooden eagle.
fell asleep to the Big Lebowksky.
amsterdamn is nice.

--
and she said, "i like the sun but it makes me lonely in the morning."
but my eyes can burn brighter now because of all your prettier stories.
--

London. day 14. 2007.

2007-06-29T00:11:00.001-07:00

june 15.

BASELINE

Today we went to the Baseline magazine studio. For those of you who do not know baseline and consider yourself interested in typography, shame on you. This magazine is just about the best typography resource today. To get to the studio, we had to take a train roughly an hour outside of the city of London. The London countryside is far more beautiful then the city. With in the hilly outskirts we saw a deer farm and a cross carved into the vegetation on the ground. I will upload photos later.

When we arrived at this amazing estate, my friend Marissa and I immediately climbed one of the trees, as London tends to lack trees that are climb worthy. But this met our standard and we were all too excited to be back in the country side without the harsh smoke from cars and people.

Anyway, we met up with the incredibly amazing Hans, who started Baseline magazine and is now Creative Director. He talked about how, when reading Baseline, the reader should have a tactile process as they flip through from start to finish. I love that aspect of Baseline. Also, how there are not set or prescribed spreads. The content dictates the spread, and through the layouts it should tell a visual story. That is such an interesting way to go about designing a magazine. While I do love my subscription to Communication Arts, I think I would give that up in a second for the Baseline subscription. They also do not have as many advertisements which is always nice. As opposed to having the ads break up spreads, Hans said they consolidate them to the back of the magazine. I hate poorly done advertisements.

I bought two magazines from them at the end. 5 a piece which is about a ten dollar break from the cost of them in the States. Then they gave us all one for free.
I love Baseline.

--
Immediately following Baseline, Scat, Lafferty, Jesse Corinella, Jess, Leah, Aviva, Greg, and I all ran to the train station to quickly go back to our flats and pack for our boat ride to Amsterdam that night at 7:00 pm.
Got to the boat on time after a very long 2 hour train ride. The boat was absolutely beautiful inside, though the people were kind of rude. Scat stole a soda. Went to bed early, seven hours on the boat, Amsterdam in the morning.

London. day 13. 2007.

2007-06-27T23:51:00.000-07:00

june 14.
kind of like a holiday.
kind of like a hell.

where are we going?
where are we going?
too now.
too soon.
to tell.

this is what i did today:
Graham Fink
I actually really really like this guy. He works in advertising and broke down creativity for us in his lecture. Very into short films and music videos. He said:

STOP WORRYING, PUT IT ALL DOWN ON PAPER, STUMBLE UPON GREATNESS, AND RELAX. PURE CREATIVITY.

He also talked about where ideas originate from. A thought is often though you have uttered it a hundred times. Get your idea down to one word. We then watched this video with David Lynch explaining ideas. He said in his video that creating is like fishing, you need patience, a hook, and bait. Catch the deeper fish, if you just skim the top you will get mediocre ideas or fish. Whichever you prefer. I dont eat fish. Let yourself go still and things will come up.
Now all in all, these things are not completely foreign. Ashley, our graphic design professor has been telling us similar things all along. It is refreshing though to hear different opinions on the crea tive process and especially originality.
After this lecture, we all went out for drinks with Graham Fink. At some point somehow he ended up asking me for my sketch book. I gave it to him and he and his assistant looked through it, with my heart pounding all the while. They both said they really liked my illustrations and actually recommended this new magazine that these illustrators are creating. The magazine is called daydream and the guys Hugo and Avue, are really really sweet. We ended up meeting with them that night through Graham and got stickers and pins and a free copy of their new magazine. Definitely check this magazine out because it is a great opportunity for illustrators, designers, and photographers.
Later that night, John, Dave, Caitlen, Craig, Jillian, and I went out to dinner.
amsterdam is tomorrow.
i am very excited about that.

London. day 12. 2007.

2007-06-25T08:26:00.000-07:00

We are at pace.
say HASTE.
you know the race.
getting at that taste.
that long ing.
in.
ing.
formating bonds.
terminating the longs.
for now.
brown cow.
my head.
we'll plough.
quiet thoughts, fear, just dance!
for now.
or too late.
just wait.

and this is what i did today
went to the Barbican.
be jealous.
if your not, then you should be.
because I saw works by...

incredably raw.
the strokes. the color. the video. the imagery.
it was nice to feel art again.
and not to compute it.

the only thing i didn't like was the guy who got completely naked and video taped himself beating himself up with boxing gloves.
that was over my head.

--
can you be my cowboy?
--

London. day 11. 2007.

2007-06-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

we can make these boys sing.
ringing in their throats.
tightly in their ears.
hey! hey! hey!

michael johnson.
great building and space.
did the bfi logo.
also did some crop circle typography.
wasn't really into it.
i like the way he plays guitar though.
i am going to learn to play with a slider when i get home.
goal for the summer.

We all went to the pepper tree for lunch.
I got the best dessert I have ever eaten.
It was sticky rice with mango slices.
delicious.

After lunch Dave, John and I went to the Hayward Gallery in Waterloo where Antony Gormely had an exhibit.
http://www.haywardgallery.org.uk/
We saw heaven in a box.
It was a giant glass box with vapor similar to fog.
Called blind light.
You walk in and can't see a foot in front of you. I can't believe he created this magical thing.
I want one for my house.
There was also a maze of boxes.
As it turns out, Gormely did a study of measurements of people and found out the smallest amount of space that could fit a human.These boxes, which were not quite like coffins, we the smallest amount of space to encapsulate a human being.
He theorized that as you pass and see the different spaces and shapes, you begin to see the eager ones, the children, the sad ones, and the happy ones. It was almost as cool as the blind light piece.
We walked out onto the patio of the building and saw another installation he had made on all of the surrounding buildings. There were single cast iron men leaning over the edge. All in the direction of the patio. So on all of the surrounding buildings of the gallery, you could see their silhouettes. It was amazing.

After this we went down to the beach area. Some Russian boys came over to where we were sitting on the steps and began doing flips off of the side. One of the boys landed on his neck, got up, and kept doing flips.

::night::
we talked about philosophy.
me, jillian, and dave.
we talked for quite a while.
then, feeling filled, stuffed, and empty, Dave said, "That's the great thing about talking about philosophy. You don't ever get anywhere, but at the same time you get everywhere."
it was kind of great.
--

finished reading Wild Animals I have known, starting Slaughter House 5.

--
let's figure out our lives through an ad lib.

London. day 10. 2007.

2007-06-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

Dustin left for Belgium in the morning.
God speed.

Went to the British Library, which is just pretty much amazing place.
saw original sheet music from Mozart, Chopin, Beethoven, scribblings of lyrics from Paul McCartney and john Lennon, Gutenberg's Bible, Nazi stamps with Hitler on them and so much other historic work.

Next, we went to Central St. Martins.
We met Phil Baines and Catherine Dixon, two graphic designers who worked heavily on the Penguin Publisher book covers. They also work as professors at Central Saint Martins.
They are incredibly talented and incredibly nice.
books I am now planning to read:

Gary Wilson
this was kind of cool, but a lot of lame.
he showed us a lot of really "edgy" photography work.
Ultimately, I wasn't really all that impressed with it as a whole.
some of it was very interesting though.
the entire time I felt like he was talking down to us, which, with a reputable school like that I guess he felt warranted.
basically though what i took from the visit was:
-believe in your work and sell it whole heartedly
-break rules and stretch briefs

But the best speaker I have heard yet was by far:

PETER SAVILLE
graduated in 1978.
doesn't like the way design has turned out.

from there he went on to tell us what i have been waiting to hear since we have been in London::
You as a designer, have the responsibility to make things better. He talked about the difference between advertising and design also. He said that adverting wants to sell you something, designers care about the look of something to change social culture and make things better.
but how do you make the world better?
Saville replies,

"by figuring out what things matter to you and figuring out what good can come from these things. If you want to get something out of your work, you need to feel like it is important."

we were told to write him questions before the visit, and then the professors were going to choose which 5 to ask him.

my question was:
what makes brilliance?

-caring
-trying

He ended the lecture with this:

" Try not to be apart of a system for an establishment. You can make everything look amazing, that's your job. But do it with some integrity. Don't just do stuff without questioning it.

London. day 9. 2007.

2007-06-25T07:11:00.000-07:00

and this is what i did today.

dustin and i went to Burroughs market.
it was closed.
went to Reagent Park with Jesse, Scat, Lafferty, Sailer, Dustin, and Greg.
Lafferty, Dustin and I hopped the fence and snuck into the london zoo.
one woman passing told Dustin she, "hoped he got his bloody leg stuck".
ah londoners.
it was amazing.
we saw pelicans and flamingos and tigers and lemurs (thought of brady who is now in madagascar sutdying lemurs) and snakes and fish that kind of looked like Scat and birds.
but my favorites were the pelicans.
alot of walking.
::later::
dustin and i went out to dinner at Wagamama.
it was delicious.
after, we made our way to the Thames River.
the river at night is so beautiful.
some guy asked dustin for a cigarrette, but neither of us smoke. When we told him we didn't have one, he lifted the glass bottle he was drinking from and went to hit dustin with it, but then for some reason he just stopped and walked away.
it was really weird.
but the river at night is beautiful.
the river at night is beautiful.
butterflies.
the night was beautiful.
came back home around 12:30 am.
american history X was on television.
for london television, that is amazing.
london has terrible television.

amazing.
night.
day.

London. day 8. 2007.

2007-06-25T02:46:00.001-07:00

lightly spilled tattoos make way!
make haste.
the london life it wastes and waits!
fast and hard.
glistening and dim.
we can forget and make ammends.
and your like

and I'm like.

woah.

and the doors are so cool.
and the bridges magnificent.
and the people are talking and laughing.
hard at eachother.
and with empty sounds.
kind of like in a movie.
kind of all alone.

but in the fever you'll feel it.
and in the frenzy you'll hear it.
and when he says love, takes love, and means it.

what i did today:

Went to the design museum.
had a personal tour of Colani's exhibit from Colani.
Colani is so pimp.
i mean seriously, he revolutionized camera design via Canon.
how did we get a personalized tour from a guy who has is own castle in the South of France? We took a picture with that man, by the Thames River. as he smoked a cigar. and i got his autograph in my sketch book. I guess he can have his own page.

lunch at burroughs market.
with dave, john, and scat.
ate in the alley way.
soooo many free samples.
i'm going there later to eat lunch on their free samples.

THE TATE.
amazing.
saw the Dali exhibit.
works from Rothko.
Pollack.
hockney.
and so many more.
helio oticia. eh.

later in the night, dustin and i got pizza and pizza wine. from sainsbury's of course.
it actually said on the bottle to consume with pizza.
i love london.
--

and your there.
and i'm not prepared.
to go back.
i don't think i'll ever be that strong.
to go back.

London. day 7. 2007.

2007-06-25T02:31:00.000-07:00

stone henge.
kind of amazing.
left for stone henge at 2:30 am.
slept the whole way there.
had very bad dreams.
sheep were there.
so so many sheep.
I think i was more engrossed with the country side then of the actual stone henge.
we were able to get up really close to it, which i found out later that most people aren't allowed to do, but since we were there at 4 am, i guess it was ok.
we met up with this guy, Busty, who full heartedly believe that aliens dropped stone henge and that it how it came about. he told us that there have been many reporters who have done specials on him for television, and one actually saw a spaceship when she was with him interviewing him. He was a really cool guy.
i wish I could be Busty's friend.

Went to Kensington Gardens with Dustin.
we hopped the fence to get to the river's bank, where we sat on a fallen tree and chilled by the water. it was nice. wanted to swim, but the water was gross.

there were geese.
this rasta guy with a cane and a cape.
he was so cool.
and maybe.
and peter pan.
and hands.
and kisses.
and people.
pairs and pairs of people.
and squirrels.
and picnics.
and babies falling.

explosion of everything.

London. day 6. 2007.

2007-06-25T02:26:00.000-07:00

::grey world::

america you are doomed if all london design agencies are like this.
nothing I say will do this place the justice they deserve.
here is their website:
greyworld

London. day 5. 2007.

2007-06-25T02:05:00.000-07:00

Pentagram.

oh how you spoil me so with your amazing design. your amazing studio. i love you.

Went to Pentagram today. Betty Tuffler spoke to us about the history of Pentagram and what kind of projects they have been working on. She talked about graphic design today and how people don't know that they are being designed at, also how good design is assumed. They don't particularly have a home office, and there is no "head guy" like at most design agencies. The original partnership started with Alan Fletcher, Bob Gill, Colin Forbes, and Theo Crosbey. From there it just kind of flourished moved around changed partners, but always stayed completely collaborative.
Their problem solving style of design was really interesting, in that if the client is not happy with the end result, then they didn't solve the problem.
I'll upload photos from this later.

After this we went to a small gallery which was pretty cool, and then were introduced to portabello road.

SAATCHI & SAATCHI
Kate Stanners, very cool lady.
creative director of saatchi and saatchi advertising agency.
some interesting ads.
better then bbh london.

::later that night::
the walkabout.
dance party.
abrasive english locals.
didn't get to sleep until 4 am.
most of the walk home scat and dustin sang tenacious d.
we scream american.
guitars.
and stories.
and tomorrow.
oh tomorrow.
MAKE IT SHINE.

London. day 4. 2007

2007-06-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

tastes kind of like America.
kind of like DE.
Britatin you are a cold fire.
you are a storm.
in a child.
hey britain.
britainopia.
britainopium.
britain. for real.

Went to Trend Union today. Basically their jobs are to sell the future fashion to major design places via this woman called Leigh. They make trend books and sell them to the fashion industry which then, create designs based on their ideas. This does not stop at clothing though, it continues on to diet as well as every other facet of our lives.
I am not sure how everyone else feels about this, but I think it is completely surreal. I have always had an incredibly bad taste in my mouth for trends, this just furthers that. A comment was made about their responsibility as the leaders of trend manufacturing in the termination of utilizing fur and leather. Their reply was simple, "we only report what things are going to be trendy. we don't make them based on our opinions." To me, that is a denial of their self formed responsibility. If they have the power to make things better, then why won't they?
I hate trend union.
Ultimately I am very glad I went there and the talk was very interesting. It has given me much more insight to the changing culture and how to watch it from a third person point of view. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, body coverage and rust colors, and printed denim are going to be the "in" things. In two years of course.

BBH
this proves how much, i don't think i want to be in advertising.

Caraby Street is popping.
carnaby street your too cool.

--dustin got here today. he is going to be staying in our flat.
he has so many many amazing stories. biking across europe, he has seen so much.
John, Dave, Dustin and I, all got drunk off of wine and went to Al's. We hung out in the basment which was really nice because no one was down there. Al's is nice.

London. day 2. 2007.

2007-06-22T04:49:00.000-07:00

Ok so landing was successful, as I am still alive.
The flats are great. Golden horse reliefs scale the side of our building. Kind of like Miami, but more like London. My flatmates consist of Jillian Abramson, Craig Hench, John Amelchenko, and Dave Giordano. Craig, Jillian and I in one room and Dave and John in the other. I will upload pictures later, once I get home.
Althoger, London really just seems like an antique New York. Kind of reminds me of Chelsea.
The whole seventh day of rest thing, is taken very seriously here. Almost everything shuts down around 5-7 pm or just is not open. There are alot of Vespas here, and a few bikes. More Vespas then bikes.
The pubs are very chill. Got treated pretty poorly in the first one we went to. London apparently has a much different way of ordering food then in the States.

Night:
none of our lights work from John and Dave's bathroom to the kitchen.
i fell asleep to COPS.
Good America.
Infiltrate.
Send today better.

london. day 1. 2007

2007-06-22T04:26:00.000-07:00

learned:

londers--snotty
store clerks--Indian
roads--ridiculous
planes--ok

some things never change.

So I am in the third week of my London adventure extravaganza, and now I am trying to make feeble attempts to recall the many many things that have happened. I guess the most sense would be to begin with the plane ride...

We arrived in Philidelphis airport on June 2.
This means we will arrive at Heathrow around 9 am.
As far as excitment goes, it has finally hit me that I am actually going to London. I have never been to London. Go London.

Take off was a bit rocky, only because I hate flying. A snippet from Children of Men blared accidentally before take off on the speaker, which was creepy. I sat in the aisle seat next to one of the kids from my major, Joey Ellis. Behind me was Craig Hench, and across the aisle was some kid going to Cairo. He noticed my anxiety, so in an attempt to calm my nerves, he started reciting plane safety manuals to me as well as statistics. God I hate kids like him.
Eventually he noticed no one was listening to his rhetoric and stopped spitting out facts. Full heartedly though he was a really nice kid. I called him Cairo and he called me London, as there was no point to learn eachother's names. He was reading Slaughter House five which was interesting because I recently picked up a copy of that book from Rainbow in Newark DE for a dollar. Sometimes these uncanny parallels can be weird. At least they are to me.
Eventually on the plane ride, I fell asleep to Pan's Labyrinth, spilled my apple juice, and had a flight attendent tell me that how I was drinking my wine was street corner. Oh Great Britain. How you welcome us so!